It really is tough to “just write”, at least for me. When I said I would write more, I didn’t really mean on this website.
Two weeks ago I purchased a laptop in order to write every day. This is what I’ve wanted to do since I was a kid, this is my passion, so why not do it while I’m not working. Makes sense, right? But the fear…am I good enough? Would anyone want to read what I write?
It’s easy to write on this website because I know nobody is reading it. I originally had comments turned on, but stopped that because it was literally all spam. The first comment got me so excited and then I realized it had a spam link on it and, well, sadness.
Writing a novel, or short stories, or submitting to a website or magazine…that’s a lot different. There is true rejection. And even if you are published, people can hate what you have to say or tell you that you’re not good at putting those words together.
So I bought the laptop, brought it home, and it didn’t work at all. My brand new computer was so slow it felt as if I were on the first desktop I ever had back when I didn’t go on any websites, I dialed in to BBS’. I couldn’t use it, had to bring it back to Best Buy. I can’t write now!
That’s unconscious resistance. Bullshit. I went online and bought a new laptop, and this thing is amazing. I love it. And I’m writing.
Maybe you’ll never see what I write. Maybe you will and you’ll love it. Or think it’s complete garbage.
No matter what, I’m writing. I sit down, and “just write”. And a week in, I love it.